Ok to send flowers to the house the day after a funeral? What else could I do?

I just found out a former boss's father has died, and she was very close to him (he lived with her). She is my former boss, but also I have known her for a long time, and we used to visit socially. We haven't been social for about 5 years, not for any bad reason, just lost touch.





The funeral is tomorrow, I'm very sick and can't make it. I was going to have flowers sent to the house tomorrow, but same-day delivery bouquets (since it's after the cutoff time) are pretty scrawny and way out of my price range with the rush same-day delivery fee.





I was thinking of having flowers sent to the house on the following day or some other time this week. Is this tacky/unacceptable?





My other idea was to mail a sympathy card with a $50 gift certificate for a restaurant, so she can treat her family to take out or something to make meals easier, etc.





Please don't bash me, I'm just trying to figure out what the right thing to do is, with what I've got. Any other ideas would be great

Ok to send flowers to the house the day after a funeral? What else could I do?
Ill be flat honest here from my experience. A death in the family is a hard time. Someone else mentioned that flowers are just another item that has to be dealt with. And that is soooo true. I mean really, no one is going to be planting flowers or worry about watering them right after a death. They are going to die and its just something else that has to be done.





Food is the first thought for most people. Our family has always been over run by food during times like that - and its great!!! But please, use disposable dishes. Again, one more thing to deal with. It is sooo nerve racking to have to sit and contact all these people to get their dishes back. Like I really want to deal with that next week when I have just buried my family?





Some will say cash is tacky. But likely, cash is probably needed at times like that. No one is cooking, you have to make arrangments, probably go get a dress to wear, run around taking care of this and that. Fast food and take out is probably all that will be eaten for a couple weeks. I have suddennly just spent a great deal of money that I wasnt counting on, I have no idea how I am going to make the payments on this..... Yeah, cash is needed. These are the times when youshould give what is needed not worry about whats polite.





Showing up at the door ready to clean (with permission), or offering your time to help take care of small children while the adults are taking care of things.





A nice card would really be al thats necessary since you are not activly in this persons life. But if you are going to spend money, go with a visa gift card or prepaid credit card that can be used anywhere. That will be appreciated and get used, while the flowers will likely get neglegted, die, and get thrown out.
Reply:Flowers are over done and will just be another item to deal with. Cash, who needs that from a funeral? A simple card stating how you feel is all that is needed. Since you had social ties as well, once well. It might be a good time to just pay a visit. A 1 hour person to person conversation holds much more weight than any cash or flowers could. Even a card with a small notes holds more.
Reply:flower are sweet i did the same for a friend when her cuz passed it dose help and also u can instead of the gift card to a restaurant u could make them dinner and take it over cuz they may not want to go out but than agian they might need to get out and get there minds off of things but u have a good idea it is sweet and shows u care
Reply:do not send money.. now is not the time. sending flowers is the most perfectly acceptable thing to do... the best.. and they will appreciate it.
Reply:A dish garden or a fruit basket would be appropriate as well....
Reply:A donation to a charity is a far better idea than cut flowers sent to the house.
Reply:no money, card and flowers later if you can will be wonderful!
Reply:Sympathy cards and flowers are acceptable at this time. Right now the bereaved needs more emotional help than financial help. No amount of money can replace the loss and the pain of a loved one.


You can consider writing this in your sympathy card "I recently heard about the loss of your loved one. I am very sorry for your loss. There are not enough words to say to take the pain away but just to let you know if you need anything, let me know and I will be there at your aide. You are in our thoughts and prayers."





I am in similar situation. I lost my father in law last week and my best friend wrote a very brief message and in the end she writes "hope you are doing well.", which is sorta offensive to me.because we are not doing well. Maybe it would be fine if she wrote more. We bereaved folks can be extra sensitive to words.
Reply:I think at first the response is overwhelming for the family, in the past i was told by a family member that it is the time after, a few weeks down the road when the phone calls slowly stop, and the cards stop coming in, and the people don't drop by as often, is when people start to really feel the loss. I can recommend that probably the nicest thing you could do down the road is cook a nice meal and take it over to her so she has a prepared meal for a day or two would probably help immensely and it would show that you cared and were thinking of her.